THOUGHTS

These are the thoughts that go through my head

(...)

Why is it so hard to be objective about myself?
Why do I feel cellularly alone?
Am I supposed to live in this crazy city?

(...)
Why do you say you are spiritual
Yet you treat people like shit?

How can you say youre close to god
And yet you talk behind
my back as though I am not
A part of you? Why do I say Im fine
When its obvious Im not?
Whys it so hard to tell you what I want?
Why cant you just read my mind?

Why do I fear that the quieter I am
the less you will listen?
Why do I care whether you like me or not?
Why is it so hard for me to be angry?
Why is it such work to stay conscious and so easy to get stuck
And not the other way around?

(...)

Can I be with a lover with whom I am a student and a master?
Why am I encouraged to shut my mouth
When it gets too close to home?
Why cannot I live in the moment?

Alanis's version of me